As I enter the new year, I am finishing my final months of candidacy for ordination into the diaconate for the Episcopal Diocese of Montana. The path to ordination has been a long process of growth and transformation. I appreciate this process so much, but that has only sometimes been the case. Many days, I resisted self-reflection and self-evaluation, goal setting, and stretching my capacity to adapt.
I am not a runner, but I have a few runner friends, and I have heard that there is a time when you stop thinking about all the muscles, the pain, and the sound of your feet on the ground. Your legs feel lighter and more robust, the rhythm of your stride becomes meditative, and your focus broadens and centers simultaneously. You can see and navigate the road ahead, making adjustments for holes or rocks while listening as the inner workings of your mind process the twists and turns of life with clarity.
In spiritual formation, we will also reach a point like this. There will come a time when we no longer dread every challenging moment or self-reflection exercise. We will stop overthinking our journal writing and analysis of every encounter. We begin to focus our breathing and our prayer life while at the same time navigating the moments and encounters on our day-to-day journey with clarity and peace.
New Year resolutions also are hard at first. We sometimes halfheartedly commit, and many don’t expect to stick to it. We sometimes set vague goals, and those are hard to achieve successfully. Yet vague goals and halfhearted commitments can still produce results. We can accept the resistance and the ambiguity and press on toward something even if we don’t quite know what it is.
I had no real sense of direction when I started the School for Deacons in 2020. I only knew I wanted to do something besides be a lonely empty-nester without purpose. The door opened, and fearfully and reluctantly, I stepped out.
If you want to be able to run a mile by the end of 2024 (remember, I am not a runner), a good first step might be to put your running shoes on. Then, maybe tomorrow (in your running shoes), walk to the mailbox.
If you want more clarity and peace in 2024, find a daily practice you can build on. There are many different forms of prayer and meditation. Pick one, and then try it out today or…tomorrow.
Whatever you want to develop or change in 2024, accept the resistance and reluctance as part of the process, take the initial steps, and you will find your stride.
Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; persevere in prayer.
I am encouraged by your presence, and I pray today you will have a rich encounter with Jesus, that you will be encouraged and strengthened in your faith.
There are many turning points in our lives and people who walked with us through them. Those moments and people are part of the story of how we ended up here in this place at this time.
As I reflect on the turning points in my life, my grandmother comes to mind. I called her grandmommie shortened to Gramma as I got older. In Highschool like most teenagers, I was in the midst of an identity crisis, and I had very little sense of direction. I also struggled with dyslexia which made the academic aspect of high school extremely challenging. I was embarrassed that I didn’t read as fast as others, and being called on in class was particularly stressful. Finally, I decided I wasn’t smart enough and pretty much gave up. I got lazy and neglected school.
Gramma, a retired teacher, saw something in me I didn’t see. She saw potential; she saw a future I couldn’t. She knew things I didn’t know. She had skills to teach me to help me cope with the learning disability that educators didn’t understand well at the time. She didn’t let me be lazy. She helped me see where my efforts and commitment were lacking. Gramma was my tutor, my encourager, and my guide. With her encouragement, I made a deeper commitment to my life. I went to college because she helped me see the person she saw in me and taught me how to live into it. Who I was; evolved into who I would become. I was the same, but then again, I wasn’t the same at all. Her love transformed me. She was my bridge.
The book of Malachi forms a bridge between the Old Testament and the New Testament. Malachi could see both the past and the future. He saw the priest’s laziness and lack of commitment to God and worship. He saw the people of God as disillusioned, prideful, and disobedient. But he also saw the promise of the coming of the Messiah and how he would heal and mend those who came to Him. The breach was not irreparable, and God’s first message through Malachi was, “I have loved you. I am coming. Prepare the way. Commit to me as I have committed to you.
There are times in our lives that bridge where we have been and where we are going. It can be challenging to see these bridges. Sometimes, we can see them but are unwilling to cross. When we lose our commitment to God and ourselves, we cannot see what we cannot see. I believe God puts people in our path to help us. He gives us moments that refine us into his vision for us if we don’t shy away. In Genesis, he creates all things and declares them good. As we move through the Old Testament, goodness never leaves, but it is tarnished by laziness and lack of effort to live into being the people God wants us to be.
“In the reading we hear the question who can endure the day of his coming who can stand?” Jesus will be like a fuller’s soap. The fullers job is to clean and whiten cloth. It is soaked in soap and beaten to remove impurities, and the end product is beautiful and valuable. But the fabric must submit to the process.
There were many frustrating moments as I learned new ways to study and process information. But I knew my Gramma loved me, and I trusted her. So I met her commitment and made an effort to change and learn what she was teaching me.
As I read Paul’s letter to the Philippians, I hear a great deal of love in his words. Paul is grateful for the relationships he has; he feels held. He recognizes the goodness of the people yet understands the continual need to show them how to live successful mature Christian lives. He was committed to them and prayed that they would have more love, knowledge, and insight. This love and encouragement will help them become the people God created them to be. He had confidence that the future would be promising because he recognized commitment in them.
Love is the first ingredient in this recipe for success. Love dissolves bitterness; love breaks barriers; love inspires. With love, we feel safe to go into those problematic places to push ourselves harder to do the work needed to become the people we are called to be. He didn’t teach them what to do and what not to do. Instead, he taught them about the love of Jesus, the power of that love, and how to let it work in us to develop our character. As our character is strengthened, we are more willing to be disciplined, be obedient and make good decisions. When loved, we feel safe enough to see the things about ourselves that we cannot see and strong enough to make the changes we need to make.
Who you are and who you will become is dependent on letting others teach you and help you while allowing the process of refining moments to do the work of transformation.
In the gospel lesson, we are given a gift of Old Testament scripture within New testament scripture, another bridge.
“The voice of one crying out in the wilderness: ‘Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. 5 Every valley shall be filled, and every mountain and hill shall be made low, and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough ways made smooth; 6 and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.” Mark 1:3-5 NRSV
God commits to you, loving you perfectly and completely, guarding, guiding, and giving through others. Allow God’s love to restore you, refine you, and bring you to the place of repentance and preparation so that all you offer is as beautiful as you are.
In Creation, you were made, precious, and good. In the love of Jesus, you are made complete and beautiful.
What is your commitment to living into this beauty? What is your commitment to loving others into theirs?
We are in a transitional time of our lives. We are being refined and called to prepare. You all are an integral part of the bridge between who I am and who I am to become. In these last two years of deacon school, you have been my guard, my guide, and you have given me much encouragement and strength in my commitment. You have been Jesus to me. I thank my God every time I remember you. Amen
Several years ago, I attended a Gottman Institute workshop, where I heard the expression “turn toward” for the first time. The practice of turning toward has since enriched my most cherished relationships. Throughout the scriptures, there are great stories of God’s people turning toward and away from Him. Often, those who turn away find suffering, while those who turn toward find compassion and healing. When we turn toward, we are recognizing and connecting with the focus of our attention. When we turn toward God, we are recognizing and connecting with love.
Now is a time of biblical intensity. We have suffered and lost much during COVID-19. However, through it all, I believe God has never turned away from us. I have confidence that he is with us and waiting for us to turn to him with every challenge we encounter. I believe he is longing for a glance from us so that he can meet our gaze. Today I ask myself, “Am I turning toward Him?”. Have I allowed the media to divert my attention? Have I allowed worry and fear to distract me from his loving gaze? The truth is, sometimes, yes. So I remind myself today, turn-toward.
Turn toward truth.
Sometimes, that truth will be painful. When we are willing to let God show us the truth about who we are, we will see we have acted in ways that caused injury to God and others. We can receive forgiveness.
Luke 22:61The Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the cock crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.
Turn toward Love.
At times meeting God’s glance will be empowering and healing. We will see God’s Love and compassion for us in our suffering. We can receive his grace and mercy.
Matthew 9:22Jesus turned, and seeing her, he said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”
Turn toward connection.
In a world of insufficient answers and little peace, we need each other. Turn toward those who bid for your time and attention. Turn toward those who offer you comfort. We can be encouraged.
Romans 15:6 so that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Let today be a moment for turning-toward, recognizing God’s love for you and the love of Christ in others.
He bids your glance. He is calling your name.
At that moment, turn-toward.
John 20:14-16 she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means Teacher).
Now it is a time of grand celebration! Our graduates are on the cusp between a work coming to completion and a new work begun. Though there is much to be thankful for, our 2020 graduates have been deeply affected by COVID-19. During this unprecedented time, they need our support and encouragement like never before. We should take a moment to honor our graduates and uphold all the emotions they might be feeling at this time!
I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6
Upon entering freshman year, the dream of graduation looked nothing like this! It is okay to be disappointed at this moment.
With the economic uncertainty, colleges reinventing their learning strategies, and not knowing what the future looks like, it is okay to be afraid at this moment.
With the unusual way the school year ended, and the vast open space of the future, it is okay to feel lost at this moment.
Friendships that have been made distant by the stay-home orders may be even more distant as you move into new experiences. It’s okay to feel sad at this moment.
Many have lost loved ones, and their absence at this time will deeply felt. It is okay to mourn at this moment.
Mistakes will have been made, and due to the circumstances, they may be unable to be corrected. It is okay to have regrets at this moment.
What’s done; is done. It is okay to forgive at this moment.
…we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts…Romans 5:3-5
You had a dream and lived it; you had a goal and accomplished it, so also, at this moment, it is more than okay to celebrate!
Because God is God, and God is good! God has your past, your present, and your future. He cares about your hopes and dreams.
For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.Jeremiah 29:11
Glimpses of Grace 